Where Beer Does Flow and Men Chunder

Probably My Last Post From Australia

First of all it looks like people that I don’t know might be reading this from Los Angeles, Souix Falls, SD, Austin, TX maybe.  So, thanks for that.  Hopefully you liked it…although I don’t know how you would.  Although now that I think of it, if anyone looks up the lyrics to Down Under by Men at Work, my blog might come up. Hm…if you’re looking for that, sorry you ended up here.

I don’t really feel like writing if you haven’t noticed…It’s been a while since I have.  But since I have, school’s finished for me.  I’m done student teaching.  I’m done with school.  It’s over now.  My last day was good.  I took pictures and stuff.  My teacher had a pizza party for me which was really nice.  A shout out the the students of Year 7 Yellow team.  You were a blast.  Thanks for being cool.

Since schools been out, I haven’t really done much.  Mostly because I don’t have any money.  Like.  Seriously, no money.  And it’s been rainy so it’s not like I can even go to the beach.  Actually, I did go to the beach yesterday.  It was overcast, but warm.  I got burnt pretty bad.  I hope it turns to tan.

I’ve been watching movies down here since it’s been rainy when I try to go to the beach.  Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs was hilarious.  I really, really liked it.  Paranormal Activity was alright.  I was expecting a lot more.  It was a bit freaky when she got dragged out of bed, but eh.  Sorry if I spoiled it for you.

My mind has been on the following since school has finished:  dinner at Battle BBQ when I get back at 6:15 Saturday December 12th, a trip I’m going to take as soon as I get back to the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Colorado skiing, and a Christmas party in Des Moines that we will drive straight too from skiing.

I’ve been thinking about the dinner at Battles BBQ not because of how much I will be looking forward to eating some awesome food (which believe me, I am.  No one here knows what real turkey is), but because I created a facebook event of it on a whim and an overwhelming amount of people RSVP’d that they were coming.  Maybe not overwhelming, but at least 4 times of what my usual events yield.  So hopefully I’ll see a lot of people.

I’m looking forward to the road trip because…well com’on…GC, LV, SKI?  It’s going to be awesome.  Especially because I’m going with one of my bff’s from high school and one of his B.A. friends from university that I’ve met a few times.  I was hoping my other bff would be able to come, but his cash flow is even worse than mine.  It’s exciting because it’s the first time the three of us have been single and been able to hang out in, oh I dunno, eight years?  Although we won’t be able to do this trip together, we will have other opportunities.

This Christmas party.  Seriously.  It’s going to be awesome.  We’re growing up now.  So that means sometimes when we drink we wear ties.  I went to a few wedding last summer and drinking in a tie is very satisfying.  One of my life goals is to host an awesome classy Christmas party.  For now, I’ll accept getting invited to one.

Recently I’ve shaved and gotten a suntan/burn.

That’s about everything.  If I’m related to you or if you’re coming to my BBQ dinner at Battles I’ll see you in like 7 days.

Four Months, Three Apartments + Feeling Manly At Manly

I complained about my apartment to my CT and he went to work for me.  He very kindly asked around at his church and with close friends if anyone would mind keeping me for the rest of my time here as my current living situation sucks.  Back-read the blog to find out why.  Or I could just tell you now, that my landlord was a jerk that ranted about my 7-instead-of-3 minute length of shower, among other things.

My CT told me that he talked to his best friends parents and they would be happy to have me at their house for the rest of my time there.  He gave me their telephone number and I called them during my last period on Thursday which I had free.  I left a message on their machine.

Friday night I got a call from one of my new landlords asking when I could drop by to see the house.  We made a time for Sunday (yesterday) a bit after 1 pm.  I was excited to see it!

They have a lovely house and couldn’t be nicer. They’re in their mid-60’s and very kind.  We chatted over tea and biscuits about why I’m in Australia, they types of experiences I’ve had, and the old landlord.  They were very understanding about my situation and were incredibly genuine people.  They told me I would not have to pay rent, I could take as long a shower as I would like, they have 8 GB of Internet a month, if I needed any food just let them know and next time they run to the store they would pick some up, and if I had a laundry basket just to give it to them and they would take care of any dirty laundry I had.  See what I mean?  AMAZING PEOPLE!  I believe I’m going to move in on Wednesday of this week with the help of my CT.  I’m pretty well packed and ready to go with a few sets of clothes for the rest of my time at the old place.

I will have a room to myself with a desk, full size bed, and closet (I’ll post pictures soon).  I get my own bathroom, and as I stated previous, as much water as I can handle.  They live near bush (woodsy area) and I can even choose to walk through it on my way to school to catch the bus in the morning.  I probably won’t since it’s getting pretty hot.  Today it was about 32 degrees Celsius (90 Fahrenheit).  But that’s okay because I was at the beach for school!

Today was the Year 7’s Manly Beach Day.  In the morning we spent 2 hours on at Water Works which consisted of three tube slides.  It wasn’t a water park.  It was just a place in a small pocket near the beach that used ocean water and three tube slides into a meter deep pool.  It was actually really fun.  The rides were surprisingly long and lots of fun to go down.  I feel bad because one of the teachers loaned me his rashie and i accidentally lost it.  I don’t know what they call them in the US.  You know those shirts that fat kids wear?  One of those.  Except in Australia everyone has them since the sun is so harsh.  I left it at Water Works after we left to have lunch.  I’ll have to pick one up for him (after I use it Friday when I go again for the year 8 trip!)

Then we played beach volleyball for a few hours.  The kids were tired and the instructors didn’t want to be there either.  It was a bit boring, but passed the time well.

Finally, at the end of the day we got to go surfing and body boarding.  It was awesome.  Seriously awesome.  It was one of those situations where I couldn’t stop smiling.  I knew I looked like a goon, but it was so much fun.  I got up on the board about four times in one hour.  Looking back, my longest ride was probably about 10 seconds long, but boy did it feel a whole lot longer.  We just surfed on the white wash of everything, so it wasn’t like I was carving up the waves or anything, but it was sufficiently euphoric.  I was a bit nervous before hand, but the students were surprisingly understanding.  Even cheering when I would stand on the board.

I made my way back and picked up some packages from the post office from my parents and friends that I really appreciated after a tiring day.  I don’t know how today could have gone any better.  I’m a bit burnt, I have a few bumps on my butt from the water slides, and I don’t know if I’m every going to get all the sand off my body, but that’s okay.  I’m not sure if I want to.

I’m back in Ames in less than a month, and I’m moving again.  I’m going to live with my cooperating teachers best friends parents.  I don’t how to punctuate that last sentence.  Do you?

He said that I can probably stay there for 100 dollars a week - over half of what I’m paying now.  He also said that would probably include food.  According to my CT they’re in their mid 60’s and really nice empty nesters.  I’m excited.  I think I’m going to move this weekend and next week.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  There’s no way they can be D-bags like my current landlord right?  Oh, also. Don’t send me anything anymore.  It might not get here before I move out and I have no doubt that my crappy landlord is going to keep whatever is sent to him because his name is David too.

Today I found out that I needed to submit my TWS online and as a hard copy.  Crap.  Hopefully it’s not counted super late.

I’m going to start teaching some lessons finally next week.  Year 7 math and year 8 english.  These kids really really like me.  I’m pumped to impress them with superior teaching skills.  Hopefully I’m not too rusty.

Welp, that’s about all.  Hope all of you are well.  Leave a comment or 2 if you want.

Today I got yelled at for the first time in 12 years.  Actually yelled at.  Not that girly, “He yelled at me for forgetting my homework today.”  No, he didn’t yell at you, he was talking at a regular volume.

Today I got yelled at for taking a 7 minute shower.  By my landlord.  He called me a “fu*king idiot” and threatened to charge me another 20 bucks a week if I go over three minutes again.  How can I screw him over after I leave?  Keep in mind, he has an 800 dollar deposit, and my passport number, so whatever it is he needs to discover it after I’m gone.

Crab Racing

I suppose I should explain the new flickr set HERE.  I made it pubic for everyone to see.  I don’t mind who see’s them.  I don’t think they’re offensive and I’m not going to make them private.

Last night, (Wednesday) I went to a pub with Nate called Friend In Hand.  On Wednesdays it transforms to a big competition night. 

balloon blowing up contest - Blow up a balloon til it pops.  I came in second in the mens heat and won a beer.  Nate came in first for the guys then lost to the girl in the finals.  She was given a 7 second head start.

crab races - You buy a hermit crab for a buck and name it.  I bought 2 and named them Clyde 2 (after my fish that died a few days ago) and Shocking (the name of the horse that won the Melbourne Cup two days ago; the huge horse race here).  25 crabs are placed in the middle of a circular table and the first 6 to reach the edge of the table move on to the finals.  They also qualify to participate in the “salty balls” competition.  Clyde 2 came in second in the first heat after Nate.

“salty balls” eating contest - You know the song that Chef sings in South Park (click here to see it)?  It’s crude, I know.  Sorry.  Anyway, they start playing the song first.  Then, they put chocolate doughnuts with chocolate syrup in front of you and you put your hands behind your head and are about ready to eat them without hands when they dump a ton of salt on the doughnuts.  Tons.  Artery clogging amounts.  I came in 3rd on this one.  We had to lick the plate clean.  Gross.

hula-hoop contest - Hula-hooping on a table.  I should have won this one.  I sustained the hula the longest, but it’s whoever gets the most cheers wins, and I only had 1 friend there so I lost.  Sucks.  The guy that actually won felt bad and came to offer me his shirt he won, but I didn’t want to accept a tainted victory.

6-pack for a 6-pack contest - Just a stripping contest pretty much.  No one volunteered so he started calling out names from the crab races.  My name was called.  I did the “shy guy” routine and was happy realize that I had my stripey underwear on for more of a show.  I tied for the most cheers with another guy so we had a strip-off.  I just mocked him.  It was a close competition but, yours truly came out with the victory (you can see my enthusiasm grew in the pictures).  The prize for all the competitions was a Friend In Hand shirt.  The shirt says, “I’d rather have lobsters on my piano than crabs on my organ.”  I considered wearing it to school today.

I forgot to mention that nearly the entire time they’re spraying you with water from a garden hose.  That was my night!  It would have been fun if I could have had my good dood friends around.  But I think you can tell that I still had some fun.

mliaverage:

Today, I saw someone posting about weird laws in their state. I thought to myself, surely there would not be such laws in Iowa. Apparently, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants, men with mustaches may not kiss a woman in public, and one-armed piano players must perform for free. Go Iowa? MLIA.

You Had To Know It Would Come To This…

I’m not good a keeping a schedule.  You should know that.  As my blog readership dwindles, I struggle to find things to write about to keep my numbers up.  In order to consolidate everything and make everything more easy to read I will use a list.  In no particular order this has been what’s going on:

1. A student told me about a student teacher they made cry.  When I asked if they were going to try to make me cry he said, “No, don’t worry.  You’re cool, Mr. Muehe.”  Yes!
2. Same student:  Bright red hair walked up to me with a bandanna on and said, “Look out Mr. Muehe!  I’m the Ginga Ninja!”  Yes, Tom.  Yes you are.  I laughed for about 7 minutes straight.
3. I realized I don’t have a whole lot of money left.  Someone want to win the lottery quick and help me out?  You know I’d help you if I won, com’on!
4. My black fish Clyde died.  I’m 90% sure he was blind.  Whenever I’d put food in, he’d swim to the top and pretend like he was eating food, but he was never even close to the food pellets.
5. I’m going surfing tomorrow!  One of the Christian Studies teachers I met last week said he was going to loan me his board.  It’s going to be freezing, but hopefully fun.
6. I went to a Halloween party dressed as Jarryd Hayne, a rugby player.  I forgot my camera though so when other people get their pictures online I’ll post them here.
7. I went to an opera called Peter Grimes.  It was okay.  The story was pretty good and the music is fine, but the singing music doesn’t match the orchestra music.  At all.  I’m not sure if that’s the case with all opera or just this one.  It was in English but there were still lyrics on a screen above the stage that I had to rely on.
8. The 7th grade is going to Manly Beach on Friday for an excursion.  I’m excited about that.  Not sure what it entails or what I have to do, but it’s a field trip to a beach.  How can that not be awesome?
9. I’m really getting to know my homeroom class, and I really like them.  I want to teach them finally, but these stupid exams make it impossible.
10. These next two weeks I will be helping scribe for tests.  So for students with learning difficulties or ESL students I will read them the questions and write down their answers.  It’s really really difficult to write down an answer you know is wrong and not try to help the student at all.
11. I’m coaching basketball Tuesdays and Thursdays.  They gave me a cool climacool polo shirt that I get to keep. I’m with the 7th grade B team.  They’re not good at all.  It stinks too because it’s mandatory to go out for a sport and these kids hate basketball.  They’re just doing it because they have to.  I’m really not sure how to handle it.  Ideas?
12. The teachers here are all SUPER STRESSED about the grading and comments and report cards.  From what it sounds like they have 4 days to fill out 250ish report cards or something?  I don’t know I don’t really understand it, but it was a pretty hostile meeting.  “You can’t expect me to do this!”  “Well you’re going to have to, we have no choice!”  I went to a staff meeting last night and everyone is really really upset about it.  I told the people around me at my desk that I would help them all if they gave me glowing letters of recommendation.  I was only half joking but they were serious and thought it was a great deal.  By the time I leave this place I’ll have about 10 letters of rec.  Hopefully.
13. I’ve got 37 days left in Australia.
14. I like that Australians call candy “sweets” “chocolates” and “lollies” and I want to bring it back to the United States but I know my brother won’t allow it.
15. Australian’s are huge into sweets though.  That’s all anyone talks about in their free time.  Sweets sweets sweets
16. I’m planning a trip to the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas 2 days after I get back from here with my good friends.  Las Vegas hotels are so cheap.
17. I have no plans for Thanksgiving yet.
18. It’s getting REALLY hot outside.  Burn-in-5-minutes-without-sunscreen hot.
19. Please leave a comment about some new music for me to listen to.  Mines getting really stale.
20. Just wanted to make it an even 20.